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Monday, October 17, 2011

Advice: Thoughts on "Grown Up" Relationships

Monday, October 17, 2011 Posted by Chris Tung , , 2 comments


As we get older, it's only natural that we lose small bits of who we were as children. Although certain core traits tend to stay the same, childish ideologies go by the wayside because we realize that our naive beliefs are rarely sustainable. It's impossible for us to want to be a fireman, a police man, and a super hero all at the same time, and we can't sit on the couch, watch cartoons, and eat Frosted Flakes forever. The world will surely push us away from the simple joys we once enjoyed to a system of jobs, rent, bills, and most importantly, "grown up" relationships.

By "grown up" relationships, I mean ones that we see all around us every single day. One's filled with compromise and sacrifice. One's that we hope will last, but frequently don't. One's that are influenced by our past experience in such a way that it makes us mature and sensible but also harder and colder when we approach each new relationship. Although I've set them up rather negatively, I certainly do not believe that they are bad by an means. Adult relationships are healthy, mature, and a necessary part of our socio-economic system. And, it's also possible to find true, everlasting love as we get older (or at least I hope so), but I believe only a few of us are able to find it because of our fears of being alone and our fears of heartbreak. It is these very fears that destroy the naive ideas of love that children are fed by Disney movies and romantic comedies and create relationships that are more compromise than compassion; are more appreciative than affectionate; and sometimes, are more in like than in love.

But, if there's anything that I learned from Elliot and Bowie [video above], it's that even though the world will do its best to crush our childish belief systems we should still hold on to as many dreams and desires of our childhood selves because it is in those foolish, naive, and silly moments that we were most happy. It is our young, juvenile understanding of what love should be that makes love such a worthwhile pursuit in the first place.

Even though we'll get older and kisses and hand-holding will be replaced with making out and marriage, let us thrive to enjoy all the little kisses we share with our partners and be just as ecstatic in our relationships as Elliot and Bowie are in theirs. Because, yes, it's foolish, childish, and possibly temporary, but at least it's pure and gentle and filled with love.

And if that doesn't help, maybe this story will remind you why it's okay to continue the good fight: